Marriage and what it means to me…

19 Nov

In my opinion, marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. It’s a contract, an agreement between two people to spend the rest of their lives together…..and happily at that.We should never settle for ‘oh, I’ve married him now, I have to live with it.’ No, you don’t. If it’s that bad, leave. If not, make it work.

My first serious point is, The Wedding Band…don’t start quoting things to me or telling me about culture but personally, I think a wedding band is so important. Thankfully, my husband agreed. What do I think it means? And why do I think it is important? Well, there are a few reasons, it is clear to others that I am married, no longer available! In other words, DON’T BOTHER ME. It shows how important my marriage is. It’s a tiny thing, but it’s always there, always reminding me of the most important person in my life. AND for those exact reasons, I’m glad my husband wears one too…and note: the ‘how important my marriage is’ actually came from his mouth as I type this, I asked him, ‘why is your wedding ring important?’ He said, ‘it reminds me of how important my marriage is’.

Truth be told, it probably is that thing that stops men from making those little mistakes they shouldn’t make but some do.

Right, phew, now that’s out of the road, what next? Yes, ladies…

I think there are a few things that we forget.LADIES. Yes, this is directed at the ladies and for once, I’m making US out to be the ‘bad ones’.

Perhaps, we ‘let ourselves go’. Ladies, we forget the importance of ‘looking nice’, ‘wearing a little makeup’, even jewellery.

I’m not saying that these materialistic things matter BUT I do believe they have some importance.

Put yourself in your husband’s shoes. He comes home, find you in your pjs, trackie bottoms, makeup not done, hair looking like you could fry and egg on it…well, it’s not a very pretty site. Yes, of course, there are going to be days when you will be in trackie bottoms and he will love you just as much but every once in a while, make the effort.

As women, we are quick to blame the man for many, many things. We should all stop and think, sometimes, it IS our fault.

He married a ‘fun’, ‘loving’, woman…try and stay that way.

One problem that ‘crops’ up in marriage is children.

We tend to think we need to take our children EVERYWHERE with us. We don’t. We can arrange to leave them with family/friends and have those romantic nights out with our husbands. They need YOU, ALONE. It’s difficult to have ‘real’ adult conversation with kids around…infact, it’s almost impossible. What if your husband wants to say, ‘damn, you look hot today’…it will resort to ‘you look nice’ and then, we complain. Huh, he said, ‘nice, bes’ that was it…well, what else can he say in front of a 6 year old?

Time alone is VITAL.

Once or twice a week is CRUCIAL. Coffee dates, dinner dates, cinema, a walk on the beach…you are never too old.

Remember that couple that you saw sitting by the pier, eating fish and chips out of a paper bag that were in their 70’s…that is MY aim. I want to be that couple.

Most of us marry our best friends and learn to love them as a ‘title’…a husband or a wife. We all have our ups and downs but we must always remember the reason we fell in love in the first place.

What does marriage mean to you? I’m interested to know. The divorce rate in Kuwait is so high…why? And why can’t marriage be taken more seriously?

16 Responses to “Marriage and what it means to me…”

  1. Joy November 19, 2010 at 11:49 pm #

    The wedding band is very important, I agree. Reminds me of my husband Jason Mraz everytime I look at it even though he’s so far away because of his job and all…

    • Babble November 20, 2010 at 2:31 pm #

      I knew I could rely on you to make me laugh ๐Ÿ˜€ on a more serious note; will you wear a wedding ring and ask your husband to wear one?

  2. American Girl November 19, 2010 at 11:54 pm #

    I love your description of marriage. You and your husband are both so blessed to have one another.

    I agree with all you’ve said, and I also think it’s important to marry your best friend. That person who loves you from within, embraces your flaws, supports your dreams and goals, laughs at your silliness, and cries at your pain. And is willing to do so for a lifetime…not giving up after one mistake.

    I believe it’s our flaws which build our character — as those have been our weaknesses — and our weaknesses make us stronger. When one comes along who can treat my weaknesses like a Faberge Egg, and not capitalize on them as a way to cause pain — then he’s got potential.

    Kuwait? Well, that’s just a sad state of affairs. Forced, arranged marriages. ‘Shame’ at being divorced. Cheating as common as breathing. Children see this every day in their home — and well — sadly we carry our parents poor behavior with us through life. Until we identify it and attempt to make drastic changes.

    • Babble November 20, 2010 at 2:30 pm #

      Shame, I think that has a lot to do with why women don’t divorce…not with why they do…
      It’s suprising that there are so many women ‘stuck’ in marriages here and can’t get out of them because of the fear of what society may say…but that doesn’t answer why the divorce rate is so high. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that women are very demanding. They want the latest iPhone..the latest iPad..the new 2011 porshe cayenne…. cheating = well, we all know that happens , but, it happens all over the world….

      • American Girl November 20, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

        I agree here in Kuwait material items translate to ‘love’ in the mind of so many. Several of my male Kuwaiti friends have zero interest in Kuwaiti women because of this. They find me to be more refreshing and fun to be with because I have zero expectations other than to know them as a person — not what kind of car they drive or what type of phone they use.

        As people we long to be accepted and loved. Who wants someone to be with them because they can provide a lavish wedding or new car? That’s not love.

        I believe this has a lot to do with the reason Kuwaiti men are seeking to marry foreign women more often as well. Local women refer to us as ‘cheap’ because we have few demands — I call us realistic. I would much rather financially support a husband who followed his dreams and lived a life of happiness than to burden one with expensive demands.

        Of course this is a blanket statement which can’t be applied to every Kuwaiti.

  3. mrdirector80 November 20, 2010 at 12:00 am #

    Regarding Kuwait, it’s getting absolutely ridiculous that the diviorce rate is the highest in the gulf region! Reasons are so many I won’t list them.

    I know I’ll cherish my wife and I shall receive mutual feelings, because our relationship would be based on trust, respect, and honesty. These are the building blocks of a suuccessful relationship. Always show positivity, courage, and lots of humor and secutrity, and no force on Earth can destroy any relationship.

    Allah yiwafjich wa yiwafij iljamee3, wa yibalghich fi 3iyalikum Inshallah il-3umur killa :)….Ameen.

    • Babble November 20, 2010 at 2:33 pm #

      Why won’t you list them? As a man, I’d love to hear your opinions. You won’t be judged by anyone here. They are your opinions and I will respect them whatever they may be.
      Your wife is blessed to have someone like you,mashallah, who realises the important building blocks.

  4. MidwifeofKuwait November 20, 2010 at 12:01 am #

    In my opinion marriage is an institution which should protect all legal rights of both parties.
    Relationship between partners is another chapter.
    Concerning all factors you were writing about, i ll add only this: None of that matters, if u dont manage to make yourself happy and fuftilled first. Relationship to self is the most important one, others are only reminiscences of this relationship.So i think i ve managed to explain my theory why so many marriages fail.

    • Babble November 20, 2010 at 2:29 pm #

      I disagree with you. It does matter. You may think it doesn’t but of course it does. We are humans, we are genetically made to make ourselves look beautiful… we are made so that we can change what we look like. There are so many factors that make a healthy, happy relationship and your appearance plays a huge part in that…whether you like it or not.

      • MidwifeofKuwait November 20, 2010 at 9:59 pm #

        Ok i respect your opinion, this is discussion where everybody can express their opinion.
        I ll let u to find for yourself. Good luck

  5. april_q8 November 20, 2010 at 12:07 am #

    Loved your post , U got it to the point lady , although hubby will never wear the ring , but every time he is away with his friends , he have that ritual , every hour he smses me , he never missed a sms never , so i will forget the ring thing ๐Ÿ˜›

    what marriage means to me ? communication, before i got married the only thing am looking for in my future husband , a man whom i can talk with , that i can sit next him and we chat for hours . Moreover , i keep reminding myself , he is my man , so i have to be his girl , good looking , cute and well dresses all the time ๐Ÿ™‚ i don’t mean over dressed , but to be the girl that he loved to look at .

    about kids ๐Ÿ™‚ still i didn’t experience that ๐Ÿ™‚ but he keeps telling me , i don’t want a baby boy who is gonna take u from me ๐Ÿ˜‰

    sorry dear for the long comment ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Babble November 20, 2010 at 2:27 pm #

      Inshallah, you will experience children and inshallah soon! But, please, don’t let your husband think that you won’t love your children more than you love him, of course you will, regardless of whether it’s a boy or a girl. Your children will be part of you. You’d die for them quicker than you’d die for your husband.

  6. Marriage and what it means to me , its mean love and live, childe , familly and future .

  7. Daddy November 20, 2010 at 9:24 am #

    I think thats a great post. Who is me?! Lol its daddy babbleq8

  8. dailymail1 November 20, 2010 at 11:06 am #

    The wedding ring can be removed- I don’t think men need a ring to remind them they are married and I think men who will actively cheat ( ie actually do the deed) will be with women who don’t care if he’s wearing a ring anyway.
    Agree about the kids tho’- we do need to get out without them when they are older and don’t need us so much 24/7.

    • Babble November 20, 2010 at 2:35 pm #

      Agreed but the majority of women see a wedding ring and run…(except for a few from Marrakesh and the likes) if they remove it- well, that’s just a massive mistake on their part and hopefully if that was the case, karma would be a bitch.

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