Tag Archives: Relationships

Marriage and what it means to me…

19 Nov

In my opinion, marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. It’s a contract, an agreement between two people to spend the rest of their lives together…..and happily at that.We should never settle for ‘oh, I’ve married him now, I have to live with it.’ No, you don’t. If it’s that bad, leave. If not, make it work.

My first serious point is, The Wedding Band…don’t start quoting things to me or telling me about culture but personally, I think a wedding band is so important. Thankfully, my husband agreed. What do I think it means? And why do I think it is important? Well, there are a few reasons, it is clear to others that I am married, no longer available! In other words, DON’T BOTHER ME. It shows how important my marriage is. It’s a tiny thing, but it’s always there, always reminding me of the most important person in my life. AND for those exact reasons, I’m glad my husband wears one too…and note: the ‘how important my marriage is’ actually came from his mouth as I type this, I asked him, ‘why is your wedding ring important?’ He said, ‘it reminds me of how important my marriage is’.

Truth be told, it probably is that thing that stops men from making those little mistakes they shouldn’t make but some do.

Right, phew, now that’s out of the road, what next? Yes, ladies…

I think there are a few things that we forget.LADIES. Yes, this is directed at the ladies and for once, I’m making US out to be the ‘bad ones’.

Perhaps, we ‘let ourselves go’. Ladies, we forget the importance of ‘looking nice’, ‘wearing a little makeup’, even jewellery.

I’m not saying that these materialistic things matter BUT I do believe they have some importance.

Put yourself in your husband’s shoes. He comes home, find you in your pjs, trackie bottoms, makeup not done, hair looking like you could fry and egg on it…well, it’s not a very pretty site. Yes, of course, there are going to be days when you will be in trackie bottoms and he will love you just as much but every once in a while, make the effort.

As women, we are quick to blame the man for many, many things. We should all stop and think, sometimes, it IS our fault.

He married a ‘fun’, ‘loving’, woman…try and stay that way.

One problem that ‘crops’ up in marriage is children.

We tend to think we need to take our children EVERYWHERE with us. We don’t. We can arrange to leave them with family/friends and have those romantic nights out with our husbands. They need YOU, ALONE. It’s difficult to have ‘real’ adult conversation with kids around…infact, it’s almost impossible. What if your husband wants to say, ‘damn, you look hot today’…it will resort to ‘you look nice’ and then, we complain. Huh, he said, ‘nice, bes’ that was it…well, what else can he say in front of a 6 year old?

Time alone is VITAL.

Once or twice a week is CRUCIAL. Coffee dates, dinner dates, cinema, a walk on the beach…you are never too old.

Remember that couple that you saw sitting by the pier, eating fish and chips out of a paper bag that were in their 70’s…that is MY aim. I want to be that couple.

Most of us marry our best friends and learn to love them as a ‘title’…a husband or a wife. We all have our ups and downs but we must always remember the reason we fell in love in the first place.

What does marriage mean to you? I’m interested to know. The divorce rate in Kuwait is so high…why? And why can’t marriage be taken more seriously?

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5 little letters…

1 Nov

There is a word that we all may say, that we don’t hear often enough. Sorry – an expression, a regret.

What does it mean to say sorry? Why should you say sorry? When should you say sorry?

First and foremost, saying sorry shouldn’t come naturally, it shouldn’t fall off the end of your tongue like please and thank you. You cant fuck up and then say sorry. The world doesn’t work like that. America didn’t bomb iraq and then say, ‘oh, we’re sorry’. You must face the consequences of your actions.

People get hurt. People feel ashamed. People feel neglected. People feel all sorts of things when you make a mistake. Saying sorry doesn’t make it all ok. Life can’t just ‘roll on’. You can’t just ‘pick up’ where you left of.

Sorry is an easy word. You bang into someone in the supermarket, ‘Oh, I’m sorry love’.

When it comes to relationships, it is different.

Here are a few examples:

A friend told me: I found my husband ‘chatting’ with girls online but he said, ‘sorry’. – and that makes it ok? sorry, makes everything ok? No, it doesn’t.

Another friend found her husband had lost his job and was leaving the house everyday and going to a cafe to ‘pretend’ he was going to work. When she found out, he said, ‘sorry, but I didn’t want you to feel ashamed of me’. – this ‘sorry’, is ok. This ‘sorry’ came from the heart. The reason this man didn’t tell his wife was because of shame. In the above story of the ‘online flirt’, the husband didn’t tell the wife because ‘he thought it was enough, he thought his little online obsession would never ‘get out’.

Well, gentlemen, sometimes SORRY isn’t enough. why? Because there is so much more that sometimes need fixed.

You forget that men and women are built differently.

We aren’t meant to feel the same. Women are much more sensitive than men, why? who knows? perhaps, it comes down to the fact we are the child-bearers. We are the queens of the house.

There is TRUST, LOYALTY and RESPECT. Those need FIXED also during a time of betrayal.

A two hour long arguing session cannot end in, ‘I’m sorry’.

A discussion needs to take place. Two people must have the floor to talk. It must come from both sides and the problem must be addressed. The reasons behind the problem must be address and the conclusion as to how to get ‘over’ the problem must be attempted to be accomplished. Things don’t get fixed in five minutes. They aren’t supposed to. Sometimes they take months. Sometimes there isn’t always an answer. There has to be a mutual agreement. One person cannot make a ‘flat out’ yes or no answer.

Yes, to some extent there should be a decision maker BUT it’s hard to choose who. Some might say, it’s the male’s choice, some might say, no it’s the females. Religion and Culture should not even enter the equation.

What you both want from your marriage, your future and for your kids should be the equation.

Your family and her family shouldn’t enter the subject either.

Whether she respects your family or you respect hers doesn’t even matter.

Your family is YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY. That’s a husband, a wife and children. NO INLAWS OR OUTLAWS.

Marriage is more than a piece of paper. It’s a contract. Bound for life. In sickness and in health. For richer or for poorer. All marriages have ups and downs. Life has lots of crossroads…it’s your choice which road you choose to take.

 

Daniel Kovarbasich – This time the justice system worked…

31 Oct

Sometimes I moan and complain about the Justice System around the world, rapists getting 2 years, murderers getting 5 years probation etc. etc.
But, this time, they got it right. So right.

January 22, 2010, started off as a typical Friday for 16-year-old Daniel Kovarbasich. That morning, his father drove his mother to work, dropping off Daniel at the home of close family friend Duane Hurley, who was supposed to take Daniel to school.

Thirty minutes later, Duane was dead. Daniel had stabbed him 55 times. He was given the lesser sentence, charged with manslaughter and given 5years probation.

Why? Because it all started three years ago. Duane had started to molest Daniel, 3 years before.

Daniel snapped and stabbed him 55 times.

Daniel was 12 when 52-year-old Duane Hurley first approached him outside a local elementary school. Daniel was charmed by Duane’s dog, and when Duane returned a few days later asking if Daniel would watch the dog for a moment, he agreed. Five minutes later, Daniel says Duane returned and paid him $30 for his help.

A good quote by Oprah this evening was this, ‘The Boogie Man does not wear boogie man’s clothes’ … in other words, they will appear nice and normal. The truth is… Molesters/Sex Offenders are the man next door, the nice neighbour, a father, a son, a brother, an uncle… don’t leave your kids with anyone. Don’t trust anyone.

You are responsible for your kids.

You can read more about this story and others here

just a thought

20 Oct

If anyone wants to chat, moan, bitch, have a gossip, you can contact me at the email on the top right hand side.
I know many of us have our problems and I just realised tonight, I’m SO lucky to have wonderful friends/family/colleagues that I can talk too but there are some people who don’t have a single soul to talk to. If you want an unbiased opinion or just someone to listen, don’t hesistate to contact me.
*hugs* to all 🙂

Could be true…

30 Sep

I just read a comment on another blog.

‘Yes, if we could all stop trying to make our partner into the “ideal mate” and instead focus on what they bring to the relationship, we’d all be happier.’

This probably true and very much related to my ‘don’t wait forever’ post.

We probably dig ourselves into these holes. Trying to make our other half ‘perfect’, that ‘perfect father’, that ‘perfect husband’.

love.hate.love.hate.love.hate.love.hate

Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye.

What an evil, evil woman

20 Sep

An American bride faked leukemia to finance her wedding… WTH? With the help of friends, family and perfect strangers, the couple were married and sent away on a honeymoon, all expenses paid- it didn’t end there though.

The bride faked leukemia claiming she had only months to live, and this spurred a heart-wrenching rush of donations to plan for the woman’s dream wedding.

She got a timeshare, donations, 14carrot wedding rings, wedding dress, a doctor’s letter……….psycho b*^%h

Think if I was a man and my wife to be had done this, it would be a quick escape. He has since divorced her. The husband called her ‘so-called doctor’s office….they have never heard of her…….no trace of her.

She is STILL saying she has terminal cancer. She says she has found a ‘miracle cure’ by eating fresh food and fresh drinking water.

What a crazy bitch. Evil, pure evil to make up lies like that.